Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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