You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
My cat gives me a boner
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize