He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
