he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
