i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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