marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize