Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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