you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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