This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
