This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
