Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
