OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
