Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
