any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
