I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
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