I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
