Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
