Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
