That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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