I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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