She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
