i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
