when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
