My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
