My brain says no but my pants say off.
it was like eating out sand paper
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
