I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He did a backflip because drugs
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