you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
