yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
