tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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