If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
