What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
