Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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