It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
