I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
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