now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
