You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
