we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
