Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
