hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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