Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
