I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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