Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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