P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
