worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
