k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Holy shit dude........stairs
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
