lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
