jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
