I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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