i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
