shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
