So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
