I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
