I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
