took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
