what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
This is my gift to your gina
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize