I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
