My brain says no but my pants say off.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It's shark week go big or go home
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