I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
