I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
