Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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