I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
