Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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