What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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