I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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