So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
