I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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