If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
